Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Battle Gem Ponies DevLog #83 (Worst Summer Ever. Seriously.)


     Yesterday was truly a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Actually, the whole month felt that way. As if everything going wrong was building up to that. I'm more emotionally broken than I've ever been, but gained a whole new reason to believe in myself and stay determined.

     Find out why this post has been delayed, why almost nothing got done since BronyCon, and the silver lining along all the storm clouds over my head by digging through the post below!


   Events:
  • FillyCon Cancelled
  • Month Wasted (due to relationship drama & breakup)
  • Physical Fitness Stalled (worked out about 6 times in the last 30 days...)
     Lessons Learned:
  • My biggest panel glitched out, I still haven't patched the Demo 5 build, my car broke down, I can't afford to go to FillyCon, I have to return home early to work through August (losing even more dev time), and I found out my girlfriend's been cheating on me. All this happening back-to-back is enough to make some people off themselves. But despite everything, I'm still carrying on. At this point, working on BGP and distractions from my turbulent emotions are the only things I want to think about.
  • I learned a lot about myself and my own philosophies this month. While it may have been a waste in terms of game development, I got to see what I'd do when pushed to the brink in various situations.
  • When my panel went downhill with technical issues, I made it more about the comedy of the situation and getting the idea of the game across verbally. Selling my personality alongside my game.
  • When my car stopped moving in the middle of a busy road, I pulled it over, popped the hood, and got some friendly neighbors to teach me how the dang rust-bucket works as well as how to keep this from happening again.
  • I learned that if I'm presenting a game build I better have a PC on hand and a backup with a legacy build of the game on it.
  • Even though my FillyCon trip was cancelled, I switched my non-refundable ticket out for FillyCon merchandise that I can autograph and giveaway at a panel next year.
  • When I discovered by girlfriend of nearly 3 years was cheating on me with a friend for who knows how long, I didn't beat the guy to within an inch of his life when he showed up that morning like every part of me but my logical brain wanted to. I even managed to be civil and forgive (but still break up with) her that same day.
  • When given the option to continue or end my relationship I suggested writing out pros and cons for both parties and discussing the lists in depth with each other and with friends as intermediaries.
  • When I noticed having made mistakes I apologize and make amends immediately now instead of holding out with stubborn pride. I'm more patient than I thought I was capable and in hindsight was really giving in terms of compromise in my relationship.
  • The relationship's bad end doesn't fully negate the best two years of my life so far. For that reason I can let a lot of bad feelings go.
  • I also learned just how much my friends care about me and noticed a support network I never really acknowledged I had. Being that I grew up having to move away from my friends every few years, I stopped growing attached. Now that I'm an adult with access to social networks, they don't feel so distant anymore.
  • I'm feeling pretty holy and monk-like after all that. Like I've grown out of the person I thought I was and grew into the person I've been striving to be.
  • The end of a world isn't the end of the world. You can always consider it a new start with fresh eyes and tons of experience. This is New Game+.
       I think this is what you would call an artist's low-point. Usually when you hear success stories the subject mentions a low point in life before (or sometimes during) their rise to glory. I'm hoping the events of this summer are the last of what the universe has to throw at me.

       Just keep telling myself that once BGP is out, people will love it, people will buy it, I can live freely, I can work on more games, and everything will finally be okay...
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   Downloads:


     Hope BGP quickly reaches Unicorn Training demo numbers.

    Featured:

     Where the holy heck did today's spike come from!? I went silent for weeks!
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Alternate version of the header. Is this one too crowded?
     So the summer's over. Things didn't go as planned (actually just about every thing I didn't want to happen, did) but the fact that I'm still here means there's nothing keeping me from fighting on. I will get this game out and I will make Yotes Games a sustainable one-man game studio. More than ever I want to accomplish the one life goal I have absolute control over. Finishing a game I can truly be proud of and have it be recognized as one of the best mobile RPGs available.

     Keep an eye out everyone, because Battle Gem Ponies is on it's way! It's time to crack down and get that Greenlight build done!

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Heads up to any wise-guys and self-appointed avengers out there:

     Don't hunt down and harass my ex. The greatest revenge is to live well and I can handle that part myself. Cheers.

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