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Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Battle Gem Ponies DevLog #191 (Not a Single Thing Checked Off the List)

     I am shocked at how quickly this Wednesday snuck up on me. Guess that's a good thing. Another week closer to my short term goals, but on the other hand there's still next to no progress being made on BGP. So caught up in the daily routine and so mentally drained after hours of office work, it's incredibly easy to understand how people fall into "the grind" trap you know? 

    Just wanna drag yourself home, flop down somewhere (preferably with pizza at hand) and just watch stuff, endlessly scroll social media, wish you were happier and doing awesome things, and fall asleep. But I gotta stay on track. Even if it's just 2-3 hours at a time. Even if these little tasks like "Just write 8 YouTube scripts already!" end up taking forever, just like every other small task self-assigned.

 Pretty sure I'm waist deep in burnout, but not in any particular situation to be able to aliviate that stress, so... Onward! Here's today's blog.

  • A Really Long Introduction Video Script
  • Lots of Notes of BGP Polish Ideas and Code Tricks
  • Lots of Unity Assets bookmarked for Later Use
  • Found Ways to Squeeze More Dev Time Out of the Day
  • Lots of Long Car Rides Spent Imagining Characters Interacting with the World and Each Other
     Lessons Learned:
  • Holy cow that first video storytime thing turned out to be super long. Guess I just wanted my early gamedev story summed up and out there so I don't have to remember the whole thing anymore and explain it again. It's just gonna be up on youtube for anybody to look up about me.
  • One funny thing I'd like to note. Even when I'm grouching and just having the most sour day, when I get into the zone working on something BGP related, I always gradually cheer right up. That's how I know I really love doing this.
       I was supposed to spend all last week recording for the YouTube series, but barely got time to write the scripts for them instead. Taking forever to get into a groove and write something decent before something drags me out of it. 

     I need to do better, or else the next two months are going to continue to be a standstill. I need to wolf down dinner within 20 minutes, take military quick showers, mute/hide/delete social media since that's gotta be the biggest time sink right now. I just need to crunch down and at least get some videos out there before the end of the month.

     I swear finishing this game is the marathon of my lifetime and I really hope it's all worth it. But since me & hope seem to have some problems I have to take extra steps to make sure all this is worth it. Full steam ahead on this YouTube venture. And after settling into a new happier home life I can reevaluate how long this whole thing could take.

     I'm thinking the boost in morale from having a place of my own and cutting out the work commute will do wonders for me across the board.


If you didn't know, Yotes Games is on Patreon!
     But I wouldn't quite blame ya for waiting a bit to jump onboard. I'm off to a slow start here and really need to pick up some steam to be able to make some quality Patreon content. Anyhow, I look to these heroes and thank them for still caring, even after this super long content drought and what feels like constant sulking on my end. 

Behold! The irl MVPs

     Really. Patrons are just the coolest, kindest, most generous people you'll ever even meet. Too pure for this world and I can never thank them enough for believing in me (of all folks) so much. 

I can't make it stop.
     I get an annoying amount of phone calls, texts, and emails from recruiters every day. Guess there's a months-long delay to these things cuz I really could've used this attention in August... But now I'm having trouble deleting the tons of accounts and newsletters I signed up for. Lost track of tons of the smaller ones and some job boards just straight up don't have an "I found a job somewhere else, thanks" setting, so I need to get a little creative. 

Just updating my contact info.
If anything, my new resume should scare them off.
     If I ever need to make a real account again I'll fix it then. But probably just gonna focus on ZipRecruiter next time since that brought in tons of results the fastest. These past couple weeks have proved to me I'll probably do more than just fine where I am. Getting along great at work, proving my worth with great contributions and figuring out how things work over there. It's a fine, enjoyable job and honestly it's the drive home and the routine when I get there that I dread day-to-day.

     All in the past soon as those first few paychecks finally come in... 

     No need to spend hours plotting stepping stones and cross country moves for higher salaries at the moment. Got other stuff to do right here. If I want a more immediate pay raise, then I better work harder on Battle Gem Ponies and get those Patreon numbers up.

     Really am shooting for the moon here. Finishing the game seems so impossibly far away when I get so little time and come home mentally drained from hours of programming and traffic. Then I'm still trying to exercise on top of that (at least that's working, getting rid of the gut I developed). It's madness. But I can handle it. 

     So many folks got it so much worse and have no idea how to find a way out. I literally spelled my solutions out on paper multiple times over now. Just need to grind and get it done. Bright future's waiting just over that mountain.

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